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Not Okay Today

by Happiness Jones

/
1.
I am an American aquarium drinker I assassin down the avenue I'm hiding out in the big city blinking What was I thinking when I let go of you? Let's forget about the tongue-tied lightning Let's undress just like cross-eyed strangers This is not a joke, so please stop smiling What was I thinking when I said it didn't hurt? I want to glide through those brown eyes dreaming Take it from the inside, baby hold on tight You were so right when you said that I've been drinking What was I thinking when I said good night? I want to hold you in the Bible-black predawn You're quite a quiet domino, bury me now Take off your Band-Aid because I don't believe in touchdowns What was I thinking when I said hello? I'd always thought that if I held you tightly You'd always love me like you did back then Then I fell asleep and the city kept blinking What was I thinking when I let you back in? I am trying to break your heart I am trying to break your heart But still I'd be lying if I said it wasn't easy I am trying to break your heart Disposable Dixie-cup drinking I assassin down the avenue I'm hiding out in the big city blinking What was I thinking when I let go of you?
2.
3.
Why'd you throw away the dreams? You took me to the streams Led me on horseback off a cliff Oceans of emotions now stiff
4.
Thumper doesn't speak He knows the hurt it can bring For if he can't say something nice He won't say anything Try including everyone
5.
Never Wanted 00:52
Our conversations were confrontations Celebrated if inebriated Otherwise more minimal than Martin We were her White Stones You never wanted Nothing but my bones You never wanted Never wanted Never wanted No no no never wanted You never wanted To be changed to "Jones" No!
6.
Mind Empty 01:59
You kept my mind empty And my stomach full I'd be lying if I said I's never comfortable
7.
I was the Beast of Babylon as you played the crucified Still your pitchfork tongue chased me 'til I died My sunken eyes have seen enough but go ahead blame my ADHD and I'll call your fucking bluff
8.
Sweet communist The communist daughter Standing on the sea-weed water Semen stains the mountain tops Semen stains the mountain tops With cocoa leaves along the border Sweetness sings from every corner Cars careening from the clouds The bridges burst and twist around And wanting something warm and moving Bends towards herself the soothing Proves that she must still exist She moves herself about her fist Sweet communist The communist daughter Standing on the sea-weed water Semen stains the mountain tops Semen stains the mountain tops
9.
No Throwing 01:50
We both lost in this zero sum game Starting as friends There's no use to throw blame
10.
Sorry 01:13
In moments of meditation I'd have to say I'm sorry
11.
I want you to know I'm glad you're not dead All the hate in my heart has gone out of my head It took me some time but I understand That I made enemies where I should have stayed friends 'Cause it's way too much work to hate your old friends I want you to know that I'll be alright If you feel like I do and you're over the fight Sure, there are times when I can't get by But show me a person who always feels fine And I'll show you a lying sack of shit But oh, I know I wouldn't think about me too But the smallest things make me remember you And it's hard when I know we were such good friends And it's hard when I know that we can never be friends There are nights when I miss my friends When I look through old pictures Think about you again And I hope that you're happy that I'm not dead And we both ended up kinda okay in the end

about

The 10th album from Happiness Jones features mainly just Corbin Jones armed with guitars, pianos, kalimbas, and sadness. While seeming to be a break-up album, the stream-of-consciousness narrative found throughout can have numerous different possibilities of perspective(s). Let the mind run wild.

The title also alludes to my struggle with mental health. While some days are absolutely trash, it's worth remembering that I'm not okay [today]. There's always a tomorrow to look forward to.

Thank you for sticking with us for 10 albums. It's absolutely bonkers I was able to do this in just under a year with help from friends... but we did it! Hell yea.

credits

released June 21, 2020

Corbin Jones - Creative director, overall production

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Happiness Jones Raleigh, North Carolina

Queer genredeath collective from everywhere

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